Cryptocurrency Humor

This weekend I felt inspired to write a few cryptocurrency jokes. Many make fun of the Bitcoin vs Bitcoin Cash branding conflict. If you don’t follow cryptocurrency on Twitter, then many of these won’t make “cents.” I’m not a comedian and haven’t tried writing jokes before, so reader be warned.

ICO Jingle

My altcoin and your altcoin were sit-tin’ by the fire
My altcoin told your altcoin “I’m gon-na set your Bitcoin on fire”
Talk-in’ ’bout, hey now, hey now; ICO, ICO, all-day…

Bitcoin Forks

Bitcoin walks into a restaurant and asks for a fork. Waiter says, “Only if you pay in cash, diamonds, or gold.”

Ethereum Steak

Ethereum walks into a restaurant. Waiter asks, “What will you have?” Ethereum says, “I’m considering Proof of Steak.”


An ASIC, GPU, and CPU walk into a bar and order a beer. Bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve miners.”

BTC vs BCH Blocksize

Bitcoin walks into a bar and asks if they accept cash. Bartender says, “Well, that depends on your block size.”

Nvidia and AMD supply problem

When shareholders asked Nvidia and AMD why there is a scarcity of GPU cards, they said “It’s only a miner problem.”

A Blind Satoshi Nakamoto

A blind Satoshi Nakamoto walks into a bar and happens to sit next to Roger Ver. Roger asks Satoshi if he could buy him a beer. When Satoshi asks why, Roger replies, “It’s the least I can do for stealing your vision.”

BTC, ETH, and XRP order a beer

Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Ripple walk into a bar and order a beer. Bartender says to Bitcoin, “I’m sorry, you must be 21 million or over.”

Crypto Food Names

A good name for a steakhouse: “Proof of Stake.” A good name for a deli: “HODL the Mayo.” A good name for an appetizer: “Buy the dip.”

BCH Nuts

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Bitcoin Cash.
Bitcoin Cash who?
No thanks, I’m allergic to nuts.

Getting REKT in a bar

BTFD, FOMO, and HODL walk into a bar. Bartender asks, “Who is designated driver and who is going to get REKT?”

BCH Whale in a bar

A whale walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can pay using Bitcoin Cash. The bartender replies, “Only if you plan on getting REKTed.”

To be or not to be

To Bcash or not to Bcash, that is the no-coiner question.